One Week to Go!

Last night was one of the best AfterROCs in a long time, if not ever. (AfterROC is the time after our Bible study the ROC in which we'll have worship, prayer, a testimony, or something else. It changes unlike the study and is a smaller group so we get a little more intimate.) We took communion last night and had an amazing worship session. In preparation for this night of communion, a good friend asked me to pray for him to be brought back to and broken over the cross, and as I did that this week I felt myself having the same heart. I was reminded of how central it is to everything. Many years ago I think I viewed the gospel as basic and in my pride of intellect I wanted to move on from it and dive deeper. But what I've come to realize is how much depth there is to the cross, it's not basic, it's not only foundational, but it is everything. You see the gospel all throughout scripture. It can all be brought back to the cross. John Piper once said, "The wisdom of God devised a way for the love of God to deliver sinners from the wrath of God while not compromising the righteousness of God."All of those characteristics of God, fully there, perfectly working together although they would seem to us to contradict, are found at the cross. I never want to "move on" from the cross. I never want to stop remembering it. There is no greater blessing or joy. I love that God had been teaching me this right before we took communion together for the first time at the ROC. It was probably the most amazing worship/prayer/communion time I've ever experienced. As I discussed my excitement for the cross with another bestie last night, he suggested a book, The Cross of Christ, and is going to let me borrow it. He's pretty legit and I know this is going to be a great read! Can't wait!! What an amazing thing for God to get me passionate about right before He sends me out to share the gospel!
Last night it really hit me that I'm coming up on the one year mark of the most amazing time in my life, so far. God has stretched me, grown me, broken me, taught me, and blessed me more than any other time in my life. I know it's only the beginning! Last year my birthday (July 15th) was the start of one of the most important friendships of my life. This friendship has not only been amazing in and of itself, but this friend also brought me into so much ministry and introduced me to so many of the best friends I've ever had. Last year's birthday was the mark of a complete change in my whole world. I never thought it could be topped. Until now. This birthday will be my last full day in Lille, France. My heart's desire is to see someone come to Christ. This is my prayer. I think this birthday will mark a new chapter in my life. Last year was my time to grow immensely, to be trained up, to be blessed beyond belief, and to be used to minister to and disciple other believers. I think this next year is the start of using me in bringing the gospel and all God's healing power to a dark, lost, and broken world. After all, what other response to I have after so much healing and redemption? :)

All for God's Glory!

Today I read and meditated on 1 Corinthians 8-10. In chapter 9 Paul says, "To the weak I became weak, to win the weak. I have become all things to all men so that by all possible means I might save some. I do all this for the sake of the gospel, that I may share in it's blessings." In chapter 10 he goes on to say, "Everything is permissible, but not everything is beneficial. Everything is permissible, but not everything is constructive." and (talking about eating food offered to idols and the effects it has on those around you) "So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God." We are all called to do all for the sake of the Gospel and to the glory of God. Imagine our witness if we gave up our rights and had this attitude! Now as I prepare to witness to Muslims an important piece is knowing enough about their culture to know how I can best do that. If there is anything I can do or give up to help the Gospel I want to do so gladly. I know Elise and I will be dressing modestly and wearing long pants even though it's July. I'm going to continue to research to see what else I can do so that I can best serve that community. Please pray that the Gospel would always be on the forefront of our minds so that we are doing all for it's sake.
Another way you can pray for us is for the preparation of our testimonies. I have mine prepared but I want to make sure it's God's words, not mine; that it gives Him the glory and in no way myself. I also want to be sensitive to the Spirit and be flexible enough to share different details with different women as the Spirit leads to be most effective. Pray for boldness and as I continue to want to make the most of every moment here in preparation. And praise God! He's at work and it's so exciting!!

Praise God!

God is so amazing! He never ceases to blow my mind! All of my funding is in! Elise and I are going to France!! My favorite part about how He brought in my funding was that it was so clearly Him and not me! It's just further confirmation that He has work and purpose for me in Lille this summer. It's hard to remember with such a busy schedule to be making the most of every moment in preparation for this trip, but that's exactly what I need to do. From the very beginning God orchestrated this entire thing just as He has with my life. It was originally going to be a larger group going. It was originally a trip to Sweden. And at the start of planning this trip, I wasn't listening to the Lord's call on my life for missions. But God moved and placed Elise and I where we are so clearly supposed to go. I've learned that He does that. As I first felt the pull to missions I had no idea where I would end up. I just started looking into things and pursuing options. I tried to approach it with an open-hand and God moved; He shut doors and opened ones I had never even imagined. I remember one day of prayer as I hiked through Garden of the Gods, I told the Lord the only way I knew to be obedient was to pursue the options I saw. I asked Him to guide me and take care of the rest. He has been so faithful in that! He closed some opportunities and the path I'm on is very different from the one I started on. If He had not had purpose for me in Lille and shut this door, I would've been so excited to see that faithfulness as well. Shutting doors is every bit Him working as opening others.
Thank you all for your extremely generous support and abundant prayers! Please pray for Elise and I, that we would stand firm, not be distracted, and be diligent in preparing to go, as well as for the people in Lille, that God would be preparing hearts. And praise the Lord! He is so sovereign and good! What an amazing God we serve!!

T Minus 3 weeks!

Three weeks until France! When did that happen?! With all the uncertainty with the fund raising, time somehow slipped away from me! God has been so good, and as always His timing is perfect. Two weeks ago I had $250 raised and was completely unsure if I was going. I hate to admit it, but my inital reaction to the news of my account was not awesome. God taught me two things through that initial freak out of mine. The first was that I needed to completely trust Him. If this was where He was calling me to go, He was going to provide. I needed to know He was the one providing. Second was that if I didn't get to go, then that was His plan, not a lack of ability to get me there. His character does not change. It is not dependent on my circumstances. God is not good because things go my way, He's good because He is. He is also completely sovereign. Nothing is outside of His control. These two facts help me to rest in Him. I got to the place where I knew whatever happens is best. He's working all things together to my good; His plan is shaping me into the woman He wants me to be. If He chose to have me glorify Him by attesting that He is good and sovereign while not getting to go to France, then bring it on!
But since Friday I have been certain this is not the path He has me on. Friday I received immense peace and confirmation that He has so much purpose for me in Lille this summer. He has work for me to do, this isn't about me. That is my first prayer request today; let me never forget that. This trip is about bringing God glory. I long to see the nations praising His name. His heart is breaking for Muslim women who are abused, neglected, and oppressed. He is breaking my heart for them as well. I feel their pain. I also know the world's lies to healing and the emptiness they bring. Even if they break free of Islam, without Christ, they are still in bondage.
I am now able to purchase my plane ticket, however I still need to bring in around $1,100, and SOON! God has done so much in the last few days! I am so excited to see how it's come in and the timing showing that He moved hearts to donate. I am so humbled and blessed by all of your prayers and generous gifts! I know I have such a loving family (in Christ!) uplifting, encouraging, and supporting me. Please continue to pray for funds and trust! Love you all!!

Pilot

Here begins the chronicles of my greatest adventure; the rest of my life. As I gain clarity and discern what each next step is I hope that you will come along side me in prayer. God has a definite purpose and plan for me and as I stumble along the road less traveled, I have the comforting thought that I know my end goal: to glorify God. As I fix my eyes on that, I know He'll direct the means. I long to be a woman of reckless abandon for Christ, a woman who gives Him her greatest treasure, her whole heart. As we discussed theology, a friend gave me the best advice, when it came down to it, the goal is to love God most. So simple. That's what I need to focus on. "God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in Him." -John Piper. If my goal is to glorify Him, the first step is to find all of my satisfaction in Him, to love Him above all else. This is my prayer as of late.
As I prepare to depart on my mission/vision trip to France I realized how crucial every day is. I need to be using my time wisely to prepare. I want to go steeped in prayer and with a heart that is after the Lord's. So before I even leave I will be sharing my struggles, my pains, my prayer needs, as well as the victories. I will also be writing in France so you can pray for Elise and me very specifically.
Some of you have walked this last year in step with me and know all about this trip and the possibilities for my future, but some haven't so here's a little back story. Two years ago I was a completely broken person. God had become secondary, if that, in my life. Being a Christian was like a shiny necklace I wore. I had made poor decisions that had resulted in marrying a man that not only couldn't care less about honoring God, but had emotionally abused me for years. Two years ago when the physical violence started, I left. I share this so you can understand the immense healing power of God, so that He can be glorified. I share this so that you can know that in and of myself I become sad and self centered. I share this so that you understand my heart for women who are oppressed and abused, for the brokenhearted, the captives. God redeems us. He changes us, not so that we are a better version of ourselves, but a new creation. He gives purpose to our pain and that is so healing. For a year after I left I struggled with thoughts of worthlessness. I still felt the pain of being starved for weeks at a time. I still could hear the lies he would tell me. The only way to heal was to fill my mind with truth. God had a plan! He laid it on my heart to memorize a lot of scripture. I began and filled my mind with it. I did away with idle time in my head. Light dispels darkness. Through His word He is healing me. He now has work for me to do. I am an earthen vessel. I am cracked, and plain, and not glorious, but that is how it is so apparent that it is God's power, not my own. His grace is sufficient. His power is made perfect in my weakness. I now know that He designed this vessel for a life of missions. I want to share how great He is! I want people to know how He can heal! I no longer wish I could take back my past, He has redeemed me, I now look for how it can uniquely glorify Him!
Now the question is where is He sending me? Is it to France? I know it is for two weeks this July. I am going with one of my best friends, Elise with Greater Europe Mission (GEM). We will be ministering to Muslims in the city of Lille. My heart aches for the women. I am excited beyond belief to see what God does and how He moves! I am also pursuing the option to move to Paris with GEM for 1-3 years with an artist ministry. I am praying to get confirmation for that on this trip! And after that 1-3 years who knows? Perhaps I will be a missionary in France forever. Or perhaps God will call me to the Middle East, or to somewhere I haven't even thought of yet. I would love your prayers for Elise and me as we prepare and as we are over there! God is moving in Lille and I can't wait to continue to see and share what He's doing!!